Dallas Flashes Back to 1997

Ain't that special: The Morning News reveals that the UT Southwestern Medical Center maintains a VIP list of prominent and influential residents and donors who get special treatment if they become patients at the center's facilities. UT Southwestern officials defend the practice, saying it is common among hospitals nationwide. "What's the big deal?" a medical center spokesman asks. "So a few special people get some dinky perks like free parking and escorts to appointments. It's not like they're getting transfusions of blood from 12-year-old virgins or rejuvenating skin treatments made from the foreskins of boys...I mean, hypothetically speaking, as far as you know. Listen, is that tape recorder on?"

Charity begins at City Hall: To celebrate the season of giving, Dallas officials roll out their Orwellian "Lend a Hand" program, intended to discourage downtown visitors from giving money to panhandlers. The project urges the charitable to place money they'd otherwise give to beggars in boxes the city plans to place at several downtown locations. Mayor Tom Leppert praises the initiative and notes that the money collected in the first six months will go to the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance and afterward to unspecified organizations. "There are always tons of people around City Hall looking for a handout, and I'm sure we'll find some way to put it to good use," Leppert says. "Maybe in honoring the Holy Trinity."