Jimmy's Food Store

Pig head shaped out of ground pork behind the meat counter count: 1

I went up to the counter in Jimmy's Food Store, the lady asked me what I wanted, and I said, "I'll take the Italian Stallion. 6-inch." For a second I felt like I was ordering a man slave and really regretted asking for the 6-inch instead of the 12-inch (which, by the way, they refer to as The Italian Stallion Brick). But, I had a heavy breakfast of Latin Lover, so I opted to stick with the half-foot.

As I waited for my food, I took a look around and quickly discovered that Jimmy's is badass. There's all kinds of wine (so, on those liquid lunch days, you can forgo the meat counter, pick yourself out a nice bottle of Shiraz for less than 10 bucks, find a condiment aisle to cry in and have your own little confidence-building power lunch). They have fresh veggies, fresh pastas, a meat counter that rivals any meat counter I've seen in those chi-chi hippie grocery stores (including, but not limited to, about 500 feet of homemade sausage, the aforementioned ground pork pig head and the fattiest, most delicious-looking bacon I've ever seen) and all the fixin's for making a really nice Italian dinner at home.

When my food was up, I was more than ready to eat it. If you're in a rush, this place might not be the top of your list. They beat Subway in every other category but that one (in a survey based on "Eff" being worst, "Eh" being medium and "Shit Yeah" being best):

My sandwich was loaded up with prosciutto, pepperoni, some other sliced meaty stuff and provolone. There was way more lettuce on the sub than I needed, but other than that, it was perfection. Next time I go, I think I'm getting the "muffuletta." When I saw that it was $9.99 on the menu, I was like, "Fuck you, Jimmy, I'm not paying 10 bucks for a damn sub." And then I saw that the thing is a 9-inch round, pizza-sized thing that could feed a small village. Big as yo' face doesn't even come close to describing the massiveness of this mouth filler. It was yum-looking.

To drink, I chose a Henry Weinhardt's root beer, which made me the happiest person on the planet because Henry Weinhardt's is the best root beer ever. IBC can eat a D. Oh, and Jimmy's also has a huge beer fridge full of options, so you can go that way if you're in the mood to make it a beer lunch. I didn't see any Natty Light, though, so don't get your hopes up too high.